
His name is Thomas. His friends know him as the “twin.” However, we know him Doubting Thomas. Two things always bother me about Thomas. One thing that bothers me about Thomas is that we can assume that he is a twin, but we know nothing about his other half. The other part that troubles me about Thomas is his nickname. Why he of all of the apostles got one, I will never know. Others could have gotten a nickname for a slip-up. Peter, for example, denied Jesus three times, and we do not call him “Petey Three-Times" or "Sinking Peter.” Even Judas escapes life and history without being shackled with the burden of being known as “Betraying Judas.”
Thomas was not present in the upper room when Jesus first appeared (see Luke 24:36-42 or John 20:19-23). Where was Tom? Maybe he was getting some beer and pizza, or perhaps he was stuck in traffic or helping his kids with a last-minute science project. We cannot say for sure, and Scripture gives us no hints, but we do see that there is no condemnation for his absence. No one scolds him for not being there that night. So, it is safe to assume that this was an excused absence.
When Tom comes back around, the others let him know what he has missed. They tell him that they have seen the Risen Jesus. Upon hearing this news, seeing the excitement in their eyes, Tom does NOT believe. He snubs the testimony of Peter, James, and John. In fact, he refuses to believe. What is his hang-up? Why can he not just believe? It might be that Tom is resentful and experiencing a giant-sized serving of FOMO regret. It might be that Tom is a full-on skeptic and will not trust anyone's opinion about anything. Yet, Tom tells us what he needs is evidence. Thomas is just like us and wants proof or cold hard facts. He wants to see with his own eyes and touch with his own hands. Tom, just like us, wants to see the scientific, double-blind, peer-reviewed, published papers. He wants not only to see the proof; he needs to put his fingers in the holes on Jesus' hands and put his hand into the wound on Jesus' side. It is not just some little doubt, but Thomas emphatically states that without proof, he will never believe (John 20:25). This is where I feel that we may have gotten his nickname wrong. Thomas didn't just doubt; he refused to believe.
For eight long days, Thomas was forced to listen to the stories of the others seeing Jesus. The passing time did nothing to grow faith in Thomas. The Gospel of John then tells us that after these 8 days pass, the disciples are back in the upper room, and the door is again locked. (It seems that the passing of time did nothing to grow the faith in the others either.) In this doubt-filled room, Jesus suddenly appears. He does not show up and slap Thomas for not believing. Our Lord does not look and wave a disappointed finger at Peter for again locking the door. He does not hang His head in frustration. Instead, Jesus announces, "Peace be with you!" Then in the most amazing, gentle act of compassion, Jesus holds out His nailed scarred hands. Looking directly into the doubt-filled eyes of Thomas, He speaks, "Take your finger and put it here, Thomas. Look, and see my wounds. Take your hand and put it into my side. Stop unbelieving...and believe." Thomas' eyes are finally open, and he proclaims…"My Lord and my God!!"

Our doubts are not just confined to what is going on in the media. We doubt our faith, the future, and even God Himself. We ask questions like "If God is all-powerful, all-knowing and all-loving… Why are there people getting sick? Why won’t this pandemic go away?” Our doubt originates from the poisonous question the snake asked in the garden. And despite years of teaching, Bible Studies, and Scripture reading, this same question lingers in our hearts. “Does God really love me?” “Can He really forgive me for that?” and “Is God really who He says He is in the Bible?” "Can I trust Him?"

It is nothing short of amazing!! So, agonize about your doubts if you want. Lock your doors, and social distance, it will not keep Jesus from coming. And when He does. there will be no condemnation. There will be no finger-wagging, no disappointed sigh. His words will be "Peace be with you!" Look at His hands, take your fingers, and put them in the holes and BELIEVE that HE IS GOD!!
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